frustration.you want to be in charge.
of course i'm aware of the apparent fact.
BUT,do you have the commitment to it?
when i asked you whether you could handle it,you replied simply: of course.
then when i told you that you had to have a replacement if you couldnt do it,you replied: no. i want to do it.
and then. you are such a disappointment.
everyone else did their work. why didnt YOU?
does it look like you're contributing?
because it just looks like you're there:
1. stoning
2. putting us down
3. killing our ideas
4. being a parrot
i really expected something from you.
and you even told me you were disappointed that your members werent up to your so-called 'high standards'.
how ironic.
how can you be a leader when you lack the key quality of being able to be a MODEL to your peers.
just let someone else more capable do it.
anger.why am i being blamed for it?
isnt it your responsibility?
you tell me that i dont have the right to be angry because it's MY fault?
what kind of screwed up reasoning is that?
if it's your incapability,you might as well pass the job on to someone else more capable.
maybe it's because you lack the quality of empowering others.
you're just too afraid to let your 'post' be given away.
bottom line is,you arent a leader by any standard.
it's little things like this that's cracking me up.
it's such a critical time now.
and yet i'm not spared from these trivialities.
how much do you fancy an introvert changing their personality?
fearsome isnt it?
especially when you are well acquainted with that person.
you see the characteristics and personality that you know and love so much about that person fade away and be replaced slowly.
you cling on to whatever remnants of that person remains.
just to find out,it's to no avail.
you get brushed off and left in the past of the person.
you blend into the background,like whitewashed wallpaper.
you can cry.you can run after that person.
but every time you catch up,you just get dissed again.
it's easier to just run away and carry on with life.
but in your mind you keep thinking about the change.
progressively,you see that person getting on good terms with others.
you start feeling left out.
you think that you arent a part of that person's life anymore.
you just feel that you are left behind in a memory,which has been erased completely from their mind.
however many promises you made before about being friends forever mean nothing.
thus the conclusion of friends forever being an oxymoron.
it's easy to see how cruel this world is.
whatever facades and walls we have built around ourselves arent being destroyed,they're just being reinforced.weaving an intricate design of suspicion around us.
you can deny it.
but that's how cruel the world really is.
;the world's changing at an amazing yet frightening rate.
